let go

today's instrumental part before we came back in for king of heaven was amazing. i don't know if anyone else would have felt it, but i felt as if the spirit of God was flowing strongly through me. and for the first time i used my wah pedal, and played lead on an unfamiliar part of the neck. it was as if something bigger than me came over me, and yet all at once, i felt so connected in worship.

i felt as if all the blood rushed to my head, like i was blushing, like i was burning, and i was on the verge of tearing.(on stage, in front of everyone. imagine!) after the whole experience i was pretty much trembling inside. it was as if something really awesome had passed through, and i was given the wonderful gift of being able to catch a whiff of it. what it was? i can't put it to words.

and that was a beautiful moment of worship.

as musicians, or even vocalists, we can try very hard to achieve musical excellence, and i'm not saying it is bad. i strongly believe that we all need to be confident and articulate in our areas of ministry, but always remember, that when you truly and totally let yourself go, to be bold, and to be true and honest to the spirit of God that calls, that's when you will have the most beautiful moments of worship.

it was a great day anyway, learnt lots of stuff, was reminded about lots of stuff, and somehow, empowered as well.

bright lights - matchbox twenty

i don't know if the embedding from youtube works, but in case it doesn't, here's the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0g7v4st25l0

fantastic video, it was either a very well-mixed video or just simply that they command a great live atmosphere. tight band of of talented musicians, with a frontman who has the makings of a popstar. and kyle cook on the piano, well, literally, at the end of the video.

enjoy!

(and then cross your heart and hope with all your might that rob thomas will come back and matchbox 20 will be reunited.)

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

and sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

stalling

ok, so i've moved my blog to the google account thing now. wonderful, it's easier than i thought.

been doing nothing with my life lately. not like i have always been doing something with my life, but the effort i've been putting in, compared to the yield i'm reaping seems rather.. disproportionate. for once, i'm actually trying to do something constructive, like playing my part for the redev, teaching guitar and writing the syllabus, taking initiative in the worship min, taking initiative at work, but i'm already beginning to stall, with nothing to show.

and there are so many days that i so purposelessly spend. like my sundays afternoon after church, or the weekdays i am off. having had 9 off days for the past 14 days, and not having anything accomplished, i can say i am a tremendous of time. if anyone could give me something to do that i'd actually like to do, i'd be quite glad.

this bumming around scares me quite a lot. looks like it actually is possible to bum through your whole life, or work blindly through your life. imagine, i could easily spend the years after i graduate with not much to do, and then just blindly throw in my lot with the rat race, therafter, just going through the usual motions of work, rest, work and rest.

that'd suck, wouldn't it?

love can heal the pain, and truth is never vain.

great line from the goo goo dolls album i got yesterday. i spent my late teenage years believing that i could grow up to change the world. now it seems like there is just lesser and lesser reason to believe.


p.s. i hate to admit it, but seeing pink's dvd that they were playing at hmv, i've got to admit that this androgynous female with six-packs is my favourite pop-star. embarrassing huh?

joyless pursuits

well, i didn't want to have such a negative entry as the most recent one, so i had to update something, though there really is nothing much i want to say.

the past week and this are rather slack ones. out of 14 days, only 5 workdays and 9 are offs/weekends. probably also zero meaningful ones. haven't got much on my agenda except for my driving basic theory test(which i haven't studied for), trying to sort out the contact list for the redev committee and writing a syllabus for teaching electric guitar to beginners.

writing a syllabus is hard. i always knew i wasn't one that was cut out for the education system, both as a student and teacher. i'm too lazy and disorganized for it. kind of feel like giving up now, and just teach chloe, as and what i feel like. argh. but there's better pay off if i were to put together a syllabus out of this. discipline, koon, discipline.

oh, and i've finally gotten the dvd player/sound system for my room. A DVD home theatre it says on the box, but my room's only one-sixth the size of a home. sounds pretty good, but the volume's quite something. considering that i live in a HDB flat, and the walls are somewhat pretty thin, i can never turn it up beyond 12 before it gets too loud. the thing probably goes to 50 or something, not that i've tried. it seems quite an overkill, when you think of the size of my room, and that it is only plugged in to a 14-inch tv, a flat screen one at that(that means smaller surface area doesnt it?.)

this probably sounds very materialistic and shallow, but from this purchase, i realize that there are things which can make me happy. like being in the comforts of my own room with a great cd playing on a great audio system. and listening to Jason Mraz in the Eagles' ballroom, i've sort of mustered enough courage to again, decide that there are some things that are joyless pursuits. what once gave you much joy may never work for you to give you the same joy again. and though it'll all be worth it if i can reach what i want in the end, it is highly possible that the pursuit will be in vain. and i shall be mature enough to decide at this juncture, or rightfully long ago, that i should be looking at other areas in my life to bring me the fulfilment i crave. move on to greener pastures, do things that'd bring me joy instead of thinking about a wild goose chase, and wanting something i might never have. show some love to me, and pamper myself.

out of the emo zone, if you have any DVDs or videos in a thumbdrive you want to watch on a 14-inch tv, i'm offering my room. no air-conditioning, no seats. bring your own food and drinks. i'm charging by the hour, at undisclosed rate, though there most probably will be no charge if it's a show i want to watch too.

a weighty affair

Watching the snippets of the miss singapore universe promos on tv has led me to a rather alarming realization. Singapore's good food does have it's pros, and cons.

In a few days(or weeks?), a certain quite large number of Singapore's beauties will be taking part in a televised beauty pageant, possibly the most prestigious pageant, to select one woman of beauty and intellect to represent Singapore at an international pageant. All's well, just that our contestants are rather.. flabby.

I think it might be a mistake on the organizer's part to have all the promo showings to be from the swimsuit segment. Selling on sex appeal is one thing, the lack of it despite trying is another, and forgetting that the Singapore community is still suffering from the side effects of Chinese New Year is another. We must remember that Singapore is a chinese majority country, and we chinese eat a lot during CNY. And of course, girls from other races would also be making use of the excuse to be eating a lot.

It might be such a shallow view, but i believe that if you were to take part in a beauty pageant, you had better be look liking a priced steed. We want to watch beautiful people in the pageants, not pudgy porky, and definitely not someone looking like me in swimsuit. At least have the dignity to work yourself to a prime physical condition during competition season. That is the least respect you can give to a competition.

I am of course, not encouraging anorexia or bulimia, or other eating disorders. A healthy, slim body is good, but then of course, you do not need to have an absolutely perfect body to be beautiful, unless you were taking part in a pageant.

Oh, and if we had contestants who knows for sure, and remembers that the oral examinations they had back in school were not only in the dentists' chair, and behaving as such, we might have a pageant worth watching.

The author has never watched a beauty pageant in his entire life. He is currently a pudgy porky, and kind of believes that some of his friends are hotter than the current crop of Miss Singapore contestants. He mantains he wouldn't mind making friends with any of the contestants.

photos, honey-star.

everything seems to have nothing to do with anything.
anything seems to have nothing to do with everything.

i'm your honey-star.

cardiac arrest

hmm. funny now blogger doesnt say anything about only being able to update once more before i need a google account. well, news is, i've just signed up with gmail. it is, i realize a much better and usable platform than hotmail.

ok, anyways, i think i'd be trying to move this to the "new blogger" or i might just start a new blog there. it is such a hassle to though. thoughts of having to do all the html-ing to do up a new template puts me off.

and it was a pretty chaotic day. was activated twice, and on the verge of moving out for DRT twice. and today's DRT team was activated, and by right, i'm supposed to report back to camp since i'm the standby team, but because they took me off the standby team to put me on standby for another ops, which i can't say what cause it might be sensitve, i don't have to be back in camp. sort of a blessing in disguise huh? but if i get activated for this, it's off i go for a few days. pray hard i can spend my easter holidays in peace. confusing huh? you can probably figure it out if you bother reading. oh for starters, DRT is diving response team.

all in all, i've been pretty stressed and i am very tired right now. as always, the opportunity to create my blog template for me is up for grabs, and as always, nobody will help me to do it.

ciao.