come, take your place amongst the legends.

i look on the ground i stand, and then ahead. where i stand, there are plenty of pathways to higher grounds. but like every upslope, the journey would be one against gravity and as it now is, massive inertia.

admission to comm studies, ministry in the WMM, there is so much that i can achieve, given the situations i am in, the only limitation being my capabilities. yet the bible says i can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

i could be standing on the sidewalks playing to the lost, i could be sending forth a message of salvation to the masses through the media, i could be ushering in the very presence of God Himself to a worship setting, and into the hearts and being of the worshipper.

i could do all these. through Him.

of course like any other path, the way forward and upward is strewn with obstacles. but the biggest one that i need to get over is surprisingly, myself. to have more confidence and belief in myself, to stop the stupid old procrastinating habit, to not be complacent, to demand excellence, to learn how i can really depend on God.

and trust me, i will.

so let me take my place amongst the legends, none of whom can compare to the very Truth himself.

the year '07

"but seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you."

if '07 is gonna be a great year for YF, it means we can't be sitting on our backs and watching, it means we are gonna stretch beyond our comfort zone, and it most likely means too, that we will be painfully cleansed, moulded and tested to become the explosive, dynamic and passionate youth ministry we want to be. painful because we first need to be holy, and i must say we might be far from that.

i thank God for blessing my life lately. there's been so much good coming my way, and i really thank God for it.

there's a race to run. may He be our strength and the focus of our souls as we run.
sometimes i still catch myself thinking of her as the most beautiful girl in the world. and my one question for God regarding my life would be, why all this?

toppers' house

i read in nick hornby's a long way down, that new year's eve is the most likely day that anybody who wanted to kill himself would kill himself.

i could easily understand why.

if the next year was one that you had hope for, or one you had plenty or some to look forward to, it'd be totally illogical to kill yourself. it'd be almost insanely stupid to kill yourself if you had just suffered a major setback in your life.

because there is something left, because there is more to your life, because you only lost a part of everything. and if you play around with the idea in your mind, you still have everything.

but if the next year was one where you did not have anything to look forward to, one which you can already see seemingly insurmountable obstacles strewn in your way, it's easy to see why you'd kill yourself on new year's eve.

when the closure of a year will not bring about closure of your problems, when its closure means you are extending your problems to the next, death seems an easier route to an end.

when the beginning of a year means another period of strife and struggle, a longer time to suffer instead of peace, you might just want to end it.

and especially on new year's eve, when everybody else seems to have so much going for them for the next year, while you have nothing, you might feel as if you might never catch up.

and while the crowd does a rowdy, crazy countdown to the momentous leap from one year to the next, you realize you can stand right in the midst of the happiest people and have nothing rub on to you, you start to doubt whether you can ever be as happy as everyone else is.

you wonder if such happiness is a God-given right you were denied, or a secret you never learnt how to unlock.

and you are not just trapped in your circles of thoughts, but also in concrete, rock-hard real life circumstance, it is easy to understand.

i could easily understand why people would kill themselves on new year's eve.