hellweeker.

"secured."

euphoria and madness erupted on the field as 69 trainees end the toughest hundred hours of their lives. there were people cheering, jumping around, hugging, crying. hellweek's over.

frankly, i dont know how to put hellweek into words. getting whacked for no reason, crawling in the mud, frantic sorting out of our clothings and equipment almost after every meal, being put to a few minutes nap only to be woken up by flashbangs and getting whacked again, long runs as a team, playing with our heavy black rubber dinghy, times were tough.

but then there were the silly moments. telling lame jokes, dancing to music from a loudhailer, stupid cheers and ppl's crankiness from sleep deprivation. hellweek had quite a bit of fun too.

hellweek wasn't all about beng broken down in the end. it was about being there to pull your brothers through in the toughest of times, being pulled through yourself, and never ever giving up on yourself or anyone else.


hooya 26th batch!

hell beckons

in about half an hour, i'll be leaving home for camp. then it's preparation time, some old seal talk and then the pizza party. afterwhich, they'll put us to bed. and we wait for the first crack of the thunderflash. and hellweek begins.

it's gonna be the toughest one week of my life. the programme is made to break us down physically, then work at breaking us down mentally. it is a time when all the training i had the past 8 week in physical phase, will be tested on, but more importantly, it is a time when all the christianity i have lived will be called to trial.

pple, if you happen to read this blog within the next one week, please say a prayer for me. i really do need that. not so much that i'll be spared from suffering or there will be opportunities for me to get out of the programme. i do not want to fall out, i really want to make it through this. pray that i will never lose sight of God, and that is all i need, and all that i ask for.

One thing i ask of the Lord, this is what i seek: that i may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in his temple.
- Psalms 27:4 (in a psalm talking about bad times arising around the psalmist.)

couldn't have asked for a better block leave pre-hellweek. thank God some things worked out, some things didn't and some things worked out another way. to all the friends i did meet up with, i will hold your memories dear. hellweek aint half as bad as hell because for one thing, it ends and for another, when you are in hell, all friends are gone. for those whom i didn't, especially on sat night cause i wanted to be home early, you'll see me when i get out of hellweek. and i'll be thinking of what your friendship had been to me throughout all the times of my life too. and for someone else, i asked if you were happy that day. you said you were and that is enough to make everything alright.

one last thing..

The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?
- Psalms 27:1

absence

"Every minute of his life since then has been marked by her absence, every action has lacked dimension because she is not there to measure against. And when I was young I didn't understand, but now, I know, how absence can be present, like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird."

- Henry Detamble, in Audrey Niffeneger's The Time Travellers' Wife.


beautiful isn't it?

block leave!

so i am getting a block leave now.. till sunday, when i'll have to book in at 9am. which means i'll miss church and all the normalities of a sunday in my life.

got a payraise finally, and some backpay, so i am a little more loaded this month. not much though, how much can a ns man be paid? look forward to the next payraise, tt's when i'll really be getting more. but i'm gonna learn how to be wise with money. heard from our pastor(i think) that it is not only the 10% we tithe that belongs. it is ALL that we have that belongs to God. so i shall try to be less of a squanderer from now on.

a little apprehensive about this block leave. it seems rather good, getting a chance to catch up with my friends, chill out, have fun, and time off to spend with God. but what bothers me is what will happen when i book in.. because that is when all hell will break loose.

pray for me ppl, and when i book out again, i would hopefully have survived. pray for me.