when you don't want to listen

this post is dedicated to all the times you when you think you don't need to listen.

when you really just want to shut everything and everybody else out, because you think it's too much effort or because you think you are right.

just because i'm feeling that way.

and because i need to remind myself, i always need to listen, now, every single time in the future, and probably many occasions in the past too.

love ya all.

finding me

So returning the lorry today marks the end of Pumpfest for us! Probably just the claims and payments to tie down, and my term in the Pumpfest committee is over.

Wouldn't say that it has been a fantastic experience or that it was the best committee that I've worked with, but it has been quite an experience. Learnt stuff about working in tricky situations, and about myself too. Like I am actually pretty good in persuading people into making concessions. :p

And while I am feeling so shagged out right now, there is this certain sense that I've found some part of me that I've lost. Can't quite put a finger to it, but I feel strangely relieved and like I'm actually comfortable with myself.

So today, after returning the lorry, I went home, showered and went on to my interview. It turned out to be Venture Era, which I knew to be some mlm company. I stupidly did not even bother to ask about the company name when applying for this "marketing campaign" job. Got damn disappointed when i went there and saw Venture Era. Waited for a bit in the lobby and really hoped it was the other company in that building. While waiting, I observed how young everybody in the company looked (probably around my age) and how strangely shady they sound when talking to ppl coming to the lobby for their appointments.

Figured that all these people arriving were there for the same "job interview" as I was. Not that I am arrogant, but I didn't think that these people who were my age had any place in interviewing me or assessing my abilities.

Well, anyway in my sleep-deprived mode, I decided that it was a waste of time and when they sat me down with a form to fill, I just wrote "I want to withdraw." and walked off. I might have just left when I got there and realized it was venture era if I wasn't so sleep deprived.

And on the journey home, I was just thinking if I was dumb to have left my previous job, where it was easy and money was kinda decent. I left because I hated staying around doing nothing and I felt I wasn't learning. It seems like it will be the same thing now, except that I won't be paid for it.

Oh well.

nothing to look forward to

argh, msn on my mac is down, for some strange reason. i can't connect on both msn and adium.

i've quit my job, and after Pumpfest i will be jobless again. feeling somehow quite restless, like i should be doing something this holidays, but i just can't find the opportunity for it.

speaking about work, it was kind of like an idiots blessing. got paid to do nothing everyday, because they gave me super simple tasks and the longest time to do it. like a whole week for half a day's worth of work.

come to think of it, i am quite good at doing what i was employed to do. to do nothing.

maybe mark was right. we have nothing to look forward to these holidays. no sydney, no camp, no anything really. i somehow find myself dreading this holidays i have waited the whole of my uni life (so far) for. and i am so afraid that my holidays would be spent in some sweaty stupor of tv, sleep and nothingness.

so if you have anything at all that is fun or meaningful to do, tell me!

like being a window cleaner for high rise buildings.