why, God, why?

why, God?

and at such a bad time.

do i seem bullet proof?

but You have Your purpose in all this. i can only pray and try my best to be the man i need to be, or You've called me to be.

it's gonna be a sad, sad christmas.

but i need to be the beacon of light. and i will try to be.

graduation!

4/7/06 - 16/11/06
BMT. Physical Phase. Hellweek. Demolitions. Dive.




















and then, we were frogmen.

together.

cree[

i just want to run away from it all.

i don't want to see myself turning into the person i am becoming.

i don't want to face the reality of me not being able to fit in with a society i thought i once did.

i don't want to live a defeated life with no conviction.

i don't want to see all those who loved me stop loving me because i've changed so much.

i don't want to remember how i used to be, and how much i've fallen from there.

i don't want it to be this way for the rest of my life.

i just want to run away from it all.

or for you to say you'd love me still.

one more week.

woweee. another week over!

this week, had 3 night dives, got my ippt gold and got slaughtered by USPT.

3 night dives means very little sleep, as we dive till about ten, and by the time everything's wash down and secured, we can only go to bed around 11.30pm, only to wake up at 4.30am the next day to set up again.

ippt gold means i finally beat the 9:14, and i cleared it by 8 seconds. something which i thought was impossible when i first learnt that naval divers have to get the gold standard.

and USPT is the navy seal's version of ippt. where you swim 500m, do your max push up, sit up, chin up and then do a 2.4km run, all with miserly rest time in between. this means that i was so ill-conditioned for this, and not only got crappy scores, but also thought that i'd get heat stroke and faint during the last run.

and put together all these, i had one tough week, but dive phase's over. next week, i'm passing out!

HOOYA!

no beautiful suicide

i feel... incredibly sad.

and then i found this in my com. ripped off from postsecret quite a while ago.














melancholy is not such a pretty thing.
i can't live like this anymore. i can't grow out of it, i can't get over it. can someone help me, please? honestly, i think i may be almost gone. the python took my breath.

dare you to move

spent today at home packing up my room(which was due to be done aeons ago), playing guitar and watching videos on youtube. found this video.. enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/v/cp31odOBzz8" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350">

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
here you gonna go?
Salvation is here

saved by the rain

the rain was timely today.. as it washed out on us having to go back to the horrendrous boat pt. thank God. He answers prayers.

i learnt that if we were to keep making mistakes, we'd soon run out of ppl to bail us out. as christians, we're lucky to have a Jesus who is strong and willing to bail us out each and everytime. it cost Him dearly though.

it is perhaps possible for the world to run out of forgiveness. save yourself if you can. don't leave yourself at the mercy of another's discretion.

and if you make a mistake, own up to it, make up for it, and it's over. that's all of the story, really. and move on from then, make sure you learn from it.