my bags are packed, i'm ready to go..

i'm standing here, outside the door..
i hate to wake you up to say goodbye..

well, not quite. my bags are still not packed yet and i am right in front of the com. also, there is nobody special to say goodbye to, and most importantly, i am NOT ready to go.

so its back into camp to get some shit, and 5 or 6 days later, i'll be back out here again, only to go back in, then out. and in, and out. and in, and out. and again. its becoming such a nary routine, and whats scary that i sometimes cannot find anything meaningful to do when i book out. its 2 years, this way or another.

i'm glad for my wonderful friends, like my t19ers, like the stones peeps, like the girls with them, apple, ann, chloe, mel and all.. like eric, like lydia who gives me something to look forward to every bookout, who gives me all the loving i need to last me for the week long isolation i have to go throught when i go back in.

but sometimes i feel like i need this.....

so kiss me, and smile for me,
tell me that you'll wait for me,
hold me like you'll never let me go..