3 quarters of a century more to go.
and will it always be this way?
so the popular children's song, que sera sera, says whatever will be, will be. it just fails to mention the "whatever" involved is a product of our actions, and the goal of our desire. how many of us are actually willing to let whatever be just whatever, and accept whatever is whatever? maybe for those who have a guaranteed good whatever, whatever goes.
2 more days, or 1, strictly speaking, till i get my A's result. to put things in perspective, i do not know how things will go, and i don't know what to anticipate. for one, i may be in the better half of my class, but i have never done well enough in any major or minor exam to warrant entry into a university. never regularly achieved a 3 A level pass, proper. but i may still be able to make it, given that i did make quite a giant effort nearing the A's. and God does love me, and i've told Him i want to go to university so much.
then, there are other things. working has clouded my vision of a lot of things, and even my vision of myself. let me just type things here to clarify. no matter how much i suck at being a waiter, i am still just only a student, waiting for his results. i'll be heading to ns, and then to uni hopefully, and being lousy at waitering does not, in any way make me a lousy guy. i am still a musician struggling at improving, and dying to create music. and no matter how little i am involved in church right now, or how "unspiritual" my conversations and relations have become, i am still a sinner redeemed by His blood, a child loved utmostly by Him, a person immaculately and wonderfully created by Him.
things don't seem so bad after all.
i remember at camp or a retreat or something some time back, when i was in jc already, i recieved a kind of promise from God. oh yeah, it was at WE. i don't know what it was, but it felt like i had that message in my heart. that i would recieve a new life from Him, i would lead quite a different kind of life, but i had to be less of a sloth. I had to be less laid-back about my life, and go take the reins, and do whatever needs to be done, and He'll lead me to a great place. kind of like, He'll be my guide, not my chariot. i have to do my part in the walking. and i still believe in that. i must take control of my life now. it is my God-given right.
so the popular children's song, que sera sera, says whatever will be, will be. it just fails to mention the "whatever" involved is a product of our actions, and the goal of our desire. how many of us are actually willing to let whatever be just whatever, and accept whatever is whatever? maybe for those who have a guaranteed good whatever, whatever goes.
2 more days, or 1, strictly speaking, till i get my A's result. to put things in perspective, i do not know how things will go, and i don't know what to anticipate. for one, i may be in the better half of my class, but i have never done well enough in any major or minor exam to warrant entry into a university. never regularly achieved a 3 A level pass, proper. but i may still be able to make it, given that i did make quite a giant effort nearing the A's. and God does love me, and i've told Him i want to go to university so much.
then, there are other things. working has clouded my vision of a lot of things, and even my vision of myself. let me just type things here to clarify. no matter how much i suck at being a waiter, i am still just only a student, waiting for his results. i'll be heading to ns, and then to uni hopefully, and being lousy at waitering does not, in any way make me a lousy guy. i am still a musician struggling at improving, and dying to create music. and no matter how little i am involved in church right now, or how "unspiritual" my conversations and relations have become, i am still a sinner redeemed by His blood, a child loved utmostly by Him, a person immaculately and wonderfully created by Him.
things don't seem so bad after all.
i remember at camp or a retreat or something some time back, when i was in jc already, i recieved a kind of promise from God. oh yeah, it was at WE. i don't know what it was, but it felt like i had that message in my heart. that i would recieve a new life from Him, i would lead quite a different kind of life, but i had to be less of a sloth. I had to be less laid-back about my life, and go take the reins, and do whatever needs to be done, and He'll lead me to a great place. kind of like, He'll be my guide, not my chariot. i have to do my part in the walking. and i still believe in that. i must take control of my life now. it is my God-given right.
posted by ko0n at
12:39 AM
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