the best days are ahead.

i've been updating a lot, so do scroll down and look!

what a turbulent day. went to smu today to drop in my application because it seems like they havent gotten my mailed one. then hung around with jx, had swensen's topless 5 for dinner.

went to church for the da vinci seminar, didnt play so well, and got hungry halfway, so stole an apple from audrey. then pissed a friend off by being childish, and yeah, started to feel like crap already. then couldnt buy a mcchicken and so came home hungry, watched lost and now it is too late to eat anything.

i love lost, though there are those who hate it. i guess i like it because of it's thrill factor, and more so because of the parallels i can draw to my life. what's scary about it is how people let certain things stay in their souls for such a long time, the deepest darkest secret that scar them and will always conciously or subconciously affect them. i hate that. it scares me most that i may be living it right now.

anyhows, was reading through some people's blog, and also thinking about my own life. i think loads of stuff, we let the silly stuff get us down. for some of my friends, and myself included, we do have bright futures ahead. we've worked hard to get ourselves where we are, and we do have a future to work for. but yet, we moan like the end of the world is coming, because of little things that get to us. most often, members of the opposite sex.

if one were to take a step back, thing such as bgr, at our age should be just a miniscule part of our lives, not front stage. because there is so much in life for us to seize right now! we are only at this age once. if you have found your significant other and he/she gives you great joy, then good for you. but for those who have not, or have lost theirs, it is just not worth it to be sad over such stuff. there is too much that you'll forgo if you let yourself be down all the time. it is not worth it.

but funny that came from me, when i have an urge to stab myself in the chest to earn the world's sympathy and end my state of lonesome existence. haha.


i remember how i used to blog about how down i am, or how horrible i feel just to gain some sympathy. that was rather silly, now that i look back. it's kinda like saying "hey, i'm pathetic! show some love!" i guess i have to be done with that now. it doesnt work, or at least i don't want to be pathetic for the world to see. and you know, i realize all these years, i've never wanted people to shower me with care and concern. i dont year for human affection. what i truly want is a friend who loves me for who i am, whom i can turn to, to be open with and seek support from, and seek me out when i've gone down. i do hope that i can be that for someone too. i want wonderful friendships.

so much more to life, so much more.



My cherie amour lovely as a summer day
My cherie amour distant as the Milky Way
My cherie amour pretty little one that I adore
You're the only girl my heart leaps for
How I wish that you were mine

In a cafe or sometimes on a crowded street
I've been near you but you never notice me
Oh cherie amour won't you tell me how could you ignore
Back behind this little smile I wore
How I wished that you were mine

My cherie amour
My cherie amour
Maybe some day you'll see my face among the crowd
Maybe some day you'll share your little distant cloud
Oh cherie amour pretty little one that I adore
You're the only girl my heart leaps for
How I wish that you were mine


this is a damn ironic post.