ready to crumble

some days, particularly sundays, i just feel so ready to crumble. more than anything else, i just want to stop trying.

just a moment ago, i was thinking of going for a walk in town or the city area, to take in the lights and architecture and all the pretty artpieces and witty advertisments that line the streets. i would probably enjoy watching people walk on by, caught up in their anxiety of being on a first date, revelling in their excitement over a new purchase, old couples enjoying each others' company in their vintage romance, or little kids tumbling around. joys of life that are not everyday occurences to me, i could probably derive part of it from observing the happiness of others.

what was really disturbing is the realization that i'd probably have to take this walk alone. i bet people are already laughing at the emo-ness of this post. i guess i sort of cannot understand why nobody'd understand. maybe i am just a bit too much different from everybody else. lately i haven't been able to find anyone i could talk to, and that is one thing i'm so tired of trying - to relate to someone.

Here's an emo video to cap off an emo post. it's probably all over the radio and mtv, but if you haven't seen it, you probably should. it's a great video.