and all i want for christmas is you.

last day before i leave for thailand. at least what was on my mind is more or less settled, and i can leave for my missions trip with a peace of mind. :)

now i don't know what to do. could i have been ignoring God in this aspect for a year already? i don't know, doesn't feel so. i'm wondering if i should do this last thing that i've been planning to do. maybe i should just do it. maybe i shouldn't. God, if You don't give me a clear no, i'm going ahead with it. but after this, i guess i will be taking a few steps back, and i will not move until You tell me to.

sometimes surrender is such a painful act. yet surrender is supposed to be the easy way out, the end to fighting.

i think i've been too caught up in other stuffs lately. need to refocus man. this trip is timely, perhaps. but right now, my batteries are running low. so low i'm afraid that it might get completely dissipated and i can never recover.


and Lord, i will not move till You tell me to.