dec

maybe the tragedy of our lives is our refusal to believe.

honestly, i want to run out in to the rain and get drenched. let the rain remind me how wretched i really am, instead of struggling and trying so hard to believe that i might just make it.


but anyways, i have to be back in camp by 7pm because of the creative project. ended up spending the morning in chinatown but not heading in to sentosa. i wouldn't say it was a wasted day, with a new friend made, or renewed?

right now, i want so much to have time to improve on my guitaring. to have time to sit down and make music and not worrying having to be somewhere else in an hour. i really want to be playing so much better, and most importantly, to influence people into worship.

and i was thinking, every christmas i seek love so much. i want to be somewhere where i'd be accepted, i want to be somewhere where i'd be soaked with love. and maybe that's why i always look forward to christmas so much, and maybe that's why i often don't feel christmas was good enough. but this year, this year will be different. i think this year is the year i'll have to be there for someone, to shower her with the love that she needs. no more all for me. at least not this year.