the crimson and the blue.

2010-02-05T00:28:00.001+08:00

this is going offline soon. moved.

2010-01-08T20:58:00.002+08:00

friday night, and due to a myriad of factors - of loss, time, allocation and such, there is this incredibly intense sense that...

I have lost everything.

coming up next

2009-12-30T11:45:00.003+08:00

it feels so surreal, that before this week is over, we will be in the next year already. another mad flurry of activities, retreats and trips, and i'll be in 2010.

what's to like about the year, what's not to? retrospection will come another time, but i think it has been a year that has been more intense, more painful, and perhaps also more satisfying.

i think as we grow older, the stakes become bigger, and hopefully our sense of responsibility increases proportionally with the stakes.

the blows become harder too, and i think in this single year, i've met with more setbacks than any other, and suffered more disappointments. but it's not a year that will bring me down, 'cause i have learnt to forge on (and whine less.)

and my results for the semester? not very good. disappointing, and i fared far worse than i thought i would. especially for creative strats and imc, but i'm glad that i still hung on to a second upper.

but no, i am not satisfied. simply for the fact that it's a result slips full of B+, and i fervently hate that grade. because to me, B+ = average, and i refuse to concede to being average. i am f-ing stellar.

singularity

2009-12-16T23:27:00.002+08:00

I was taking a walk a while ago, and was just playing with the thought of my life partner in my head.

It's hard to imagine, but there is someone who is already perhaps 20 years or so into her life, who will be the right person for me. Someone unique and special, with her own experiences, whom will end up being my best mate for the rest of my life. And somehow, me and the person I am growing to be will be just right for her too.

And it could be someone I have never met, or someone I already know.

20 years or so into her life. And I have no freaking idea at all.

Ok, just a random thought that gave me some joy a while ago. And if these kinda thoughts make me so excited about life, what's bad with that. :)

pwned by dead scholars

2009-11-25T21:44:00.001+08:00

I feel like shit, and I can't find a reason for it. Even screwing up the paper today doesn't feel like reason enough.

Jehovah Jireh

2009-10-21T22:12:00.001+08:00

"If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

- Matthew 6:30 - 33

I learnt today that He wasn't joking.

Out of the Box

2009-10-07T16:17:00.002+08:00

From a book i'm reading - A Deeper Level by Israel Houghton

This is an abstract from Alvin Richardson, apparently a production coordinator with Israel Houghton

"I am so excited that God has called us to a deeper level. I'm reminded of a time when the nation of Israel was called to a deeper level - basically invited to have a closer, more intimate relationship with God.

Sounds like a no-brainer, right? But they said, "No thanks." It was too intense for them, too scary.

So, instead, God allowed Himself to be figuratively put into a box. They build the Ark of the Covenant to house the Ten commandments, Moses' rod, and a jar of manna.

In many ways, however, this box represented the perceived presence of God to the Israelite people. I think God allowed this because He knew that eventually they would get sick of religion and ritual and would cry out for more.

God has undeniably called us to a deeper level. I believe He wants us to get past the trappings of church culture and lingo and habits. We have the same opportunity that Israel had - will we say "yes"? Or do we secretly prefer for God to stay in the box because it is too scary to have Him so close that our ugliness is exposed.

I think we tend to prefer the box. We try to fit Him into a program or a timetable. We repeat the things we say to Him in worship over and over.

Why don't we let God out of the box?

The truth is: we shouldn't be afraid of God cramping our style; we should worry that we will cramp His!

Our faith is boxed in. Our worship is boxed in. Our prayer life is boxed in. Let's respond to the call to go to a deeper level and let God out of the box. Let's worship expecting to see the lame walk. Let's sing and play expecting to see limbs grow back.

God has already blessed us so much from inside the box - imagine what He will do once we let Him out. During this consecration, find your box and rip it to shreds. There's no telling what God will do."

- Alvin Richardson
Blessings Beyond the Box

whine

2009-10-02T22:54:00.002+08:00

my back is terribly painful - i can't even bend down to pick something up without wincing.

i'm in school on a friday night, intending to do work, but so far all i have done is watch miami vice(which sucked too much for me to finish).

i am dry as a bone for my graph comm assignment. it's really frustrating when you have no ideas.

i feel terribly lonely.

2009-09-23T00:41:00.001+08:00

"But it won't mean a lot on a mountain top, when the wind reaches out for your soul..."

some strange kind of familiar. :)

Sandi Thom - Superman

Some of us are reaching for stardust
Some of us are digging for gold
But it won't mean a lot
On a mountain top
When the wind reaches out for your soul

Some of us stand in the spotlight
Waiting for a round of clothes
But if the people go home
And you're left alone
To phase the sadness behind closed doors

I don't want the sun
I don't want you to run
I don't want my superman
I don't need wonderland
Just want you to love me

Some of us wants silver linings
To be the belle of the ball
Going down in a blaze of glory
Now the the story is nothing at all

I don't want the sun
Don't want you to run
I don't want superman
I don't need wonderland
Just want you to love me

I don't want the stars
or Venus or Mars
I don't want superman
Don't need wonderland
Just want you to love me
Just want you to love me
I don't want superman
I don't need wonderland
Just want you to love me

disappearing

2009-09-15T00:28:00.001+08:00

i feel like i'm disappearing from a lot of people's lives.

notes on the defeat.

2009-09-02T15:21:00.002+08:00

So, we got pwned for creative strategies today. And I feel like shit for it, not because i mind getting pwned, but because our presentation really... sucked.

Because we learn the most from our defeats, here's a list for future reference:

1. Never prepare for a presentation the night before. Chances are, you will work late in the night and put out half-hearted work because you are tired, you want to end the night, and you have to hand in tomorrow.

2. As the advertising man, you need to advocate the product. Ads are simple. You sell the product. You build a brand. You are just the channel. Advocate the product, don't try to prove your worth.

3. If at the end of the presentation, your audience/(client) don't want to buy your product, then you have done a shit job.

4. Know your audience/(client) and focus on the right things.

5. You have to come back and win the next round.

let the pregnant people sit.

2009-08-31T16:55:00.002+08:00

Today, I was on the train, coming back to NTU from raffles place. FML.

No, of course I understand that does not constitute a FML. The truth is, this post doesn't constitute to a FML, but an AFML. Almost-FML.

Anyway, so I was on the train, standing near the train door as I always do. Boarded this pregnant lady from my side (the train opens on the other side on Dover) and she walked right in front of me. There were no seats to be found, so she stood in front of the priority seats.

Now, if you have been on the train in recent months, you would know that there are hugeass posters pointing to the reserved seats. There she was, standing in front of one and the auntie sitting there refused to budge.

I was growing increasingly irritated, as I began to fear for the safety of said pregnant lady. Why can't the auntie be more civic minded and give up her seat?

I almost wanted to ask the auntie in the priority seat to give up her seat, but fortunately, the pregnant lady got off at Jurong East.

Fortunately because as "pregnant lady" walked away, I realize... maybe she wasn't pregnant. The bump in her stomach either significantly reduced in size during the train ride, or I was just a bit wonky. It was no more than a slightly oversized excuse for a tummy.

AFML.

i am a friend of... God.

2009-08-30T23:57:00.002+08:00

isn't it quite a thought, that you are important, and cherished by someone?

it is to me, at this season in my life, amidst the busy-ness, the disappointments, the challenges and the everything we call life.

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place.
What is man that you are mindful of him,
The son of man that you care for him?

- Psalms 8:3-4

lewd university students

2009-08-27T01:27:00.002+08:00

before i go to sleep, i just have to get this off my chest.

Shame! NTU orientation activities so sexually suggestive

read: http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=84035

I had actually wanted to post the photo for illustrative purposes, but then I realized it might just generate more negative buzz for the situation, and well, yeah it is quite lewd.

It is very easy for the media to pick up on such things, and who can blame them, when such news is indeed quite sensational. What I contend is how continual reportings of such incidents, without a fair representation of the general populace is unfair to the rest of us uni students.

For one, such reports make it sound like the rest of us, uni students, are applauding like mad monkeys while we watch a girl eat a banana. No, that is not true. I have come across a fair share of such distasteful acts in the name of fun, and like many of my peers, we do have some morality and decency.

What I hope to see, is at least a representation of the student's voice in the reports. Don't make it sound our educational institute is some sex club, and that the life of the general uni student is so sexciting. And please for the sake of Durex, don't place that kind of expectations, or induce that kind of expectation on university students.

If you have the powers to shape perceptions, please at least try to be objective.

Shame! Creating sensationalism at the expense of others!

Why do I keep picking up on all these sex things? Studying Sigmund Freud and his warped theories has detrimental effects. Now I keep thinking about sex, in the most boring and intellectual way of course.

strangely stressed, strangely tired

2009-08-19T16:41:00.002+08:00

we are in week 2 of school, and I am strangely stressed, and strangely tired.

this semester, i'm taking the lightest workload so far in my university education, with only 19AUs. Thank God i managed to get the mods i want, and i kinda look forward to doing my best in them, especially the advert modules.

decided to drop business law, in part because of Friday rehearsals for youth service. my classes would have ended at 6.30pm, and I stand no chance in getting to church for rehearsals at 7.15pm.

also re-evaluating my non-academic commitments. only two things that i am committed to now, worship chair for youthfusion, and spo for pumpfest(yet to be confirmed.) i really need to stop committing to everything, and commit more to the things that i need to.

but sometimes in a course where coursework takes up most of the academia, it's hard to separate what is academic and what's not. and what's for my portfolio, and what's not. i should plan one cohesive effort to maximize all the resources, and minimize repetitions. my life is imc.

how can we?

2009-08-11T23:52:00.001+08:00

I like this quote from my readings:

For how can we all pull together if we all pull apart?
- James M. Banner, Jr. 2007.

back to school

2009-08-11T01:35:00.002+08:00

back to hall today. the holidays was mad, like a crazed whirlwind of activities, experiences, this and that.

i feel like i might have been over committed, but at the end of it all, it does feel like every bit of it was worth doing.

from cheerleading, to 3 focs (school, odac, hall) to signing off my year 2 to odac at the expense of exchange, my uni life is really not turning out the way i envisioned it to be.

looking back, i guess God's promise does stand true. one day i might be able to give a blow-by-blow analysis of the various components of my life, but for now, know this. He has carried me through to this day, and nothing is in its place without His permission. No matter what I see, He's the one bringing me through. And He will bring me through, every step of the way. I trust Him.

Singapore Pool-ed

2009-07-27T10:49:00.000+08:00

Perhaps, the most disturbing part of watching the S'pore vs L'pool match was that I was ready to go down on my knees to beg for Agu Casmir to score when l'pool went 2-0 up.

My favorite moment during the match probably was when our very own foreign midfielder, Mustafic (?) floored Mascherano with a tackle that would have made rugby players proud.

But I did enjoy the game tremendously, especially after the second goal, when S'pore abandoned their defensive senses to take the game to Liverpool. It sure made for a more exciting game, so what if we lost 5-0? It's the goals and attacking football that fans want to see, and that is probably what Raddy knew.

I mean, why else would this man, entrusted with the soccer future of a nation, dare to leave any less than 10 men on a strike force that is worth more than the entire nett worth of the S-league combined?

Ole, Singapore. If crazy, attacking football is where we are headed, then I might be drawn back to watching local football again. Of course, next time bring a stronger backline. We can start with cloning more Daniel Bennetts.

my CDs

2009-06-25T15:25:00.002+08:00

On my home-desk, i have 3 CD racks. Each rack holds 20 CDs and they are stacked on top of each other. So my CD racks are full, and I have a pile lying next to my CD rack, because they are either too big to fit in, or there simply is no space!

Today, for the first time in a long while, I sat down in front of my laptop, and played those CDs from the Hi-Fi in my room.

And this (relatively) Hi(gher) - Fidelity CDs does sound somewhat better than MP3s or youtube streamed videos.

It may be some misguided romantic nostalgia, but I hope that CDs will never be made obsolete. Perhaps like how some audiophiles of the previous generation still listens to those hugeass LDs/records.

Can you imagine a world where everything is so nicely packed and efficient that we lose all the necessary extras?

i fear being stuck

2009-06-20T21:27:00.002+08:00

another time, another town, another everything...

i fear being stuck. i realize that i fear being stuck more than i fear change. if it leads to the end of my life as i know it, i am not afraid. for what i fear most, is that this is the end. that this is the way that it is going to end. that this is all i am.

things-of-value

2009-06-11T23:15:00.001+08:00

i think as creators, we must undertake the responsibility that each and everything we create must be of some value to the world.

perpetually pissed

2009-06-04T01:17:00.002+08:00

i am just spending my days being perpetually pissed at my employers, both at kpo and amc.

yeah, of course there is a problem with them, just like everything else in the world. but i guess the way things are, the real problem is with me.

i must stop being so damn unforgiving and critical of others. it is some blind arrogance in some form. stop, koon, stop!

when you don't want to listen

2009-05-24T19:33:00.003+08:00

this post is dedicated to all the times you when you think you don't need to listen.

when you really just want to shut everything and everybody else out, because you think it's too much effort or because you think you are right.

just because i'm feeling that way.

and because i need to remind myself, i always need to listen, now, every single time in the future, and probably many occasions in the past too.

love ya all.

finding me

2009-05-18T20:51:00.002+08:00

So returning the lorry today marks the end of Pumpfest for us! Probably just the claims and payments to tie down, and my term in the Pumpfest committee is over.

Wouldn't say that it has been a fantastic experience or that it was the best committee that I've worked with, but it has been quite an experience. Learnt stuff about working in tricky situations, and about myself too. Like I am actually pretty good in persuading people into making concessions. :p

And while I am feeling so shagged out right now, there is this certain sense that I've found some part of me that I've lost. Can't quite put a finger to it, but I feel strangely relieved and like I'm actually comfortable with myself.

So today, after returning the lorry, I went home, showered and went on to my interview. It turned out to be Venture Era, which I knew to be some mlm company. I stupidly did not even bother to ask about the company name when applying for this "marketing campaign" job. Got damn disappointed when i went there and saw Venture Era. Waited for a bit in the lobby and really hoped it was the other company in that building. While waiting, I observed how young everybody in the company looked (probably around my age) and how strangely shady they sound when talking to ppl coming to the lobby for their appointments.

Figured that all these people arriving were there for the same "job interview" as I was. Not that I am arrogant, but I didn't think that these people who were my age had any place in interviewing me or assessing my abilities.

Well, anyway in my sleep-deprived mode, I decided that it was a waste of time and when they sat me down with a form to fill, I just wrote "I want to withdraw." and walked off. I might have just left when I got there and realized it was venture era if I wasn't so sleep deprived.

And on the journey home, I was just thinking if I was dumb to have left my previous job, where it was easy and money was kinda decent. I left because I hated staying around doing nothing and I felt I wasn't learning. It seems like it will be the same thing now, except that I won't be paid for it.

Oh well.

nothing to look forward to

2009-05-09T23:16:00.003+08:00

argh, msn on my mac is down, for some strange reason. i can't connect on both msn and adium.

i've quit my job, and after Pumpfest i will be jobless again. feeling somehow quite restless, like i should be doing something this holidays, but i just can't find the opportunity for it.

speaking about work, it was kind of like an idiots blessing. got paid to do nothing everyday, because they gave me super simple tasks and the longest time to do it. like a whole week for half a day's worth of work.

come to think of it, i am quite good at doing what i was employed to do. to do nothing.

maybe mark was right. we have nothing to look forward to these holidays. no sydney, no camp, no anything really. i somehow find myself dreading this holidays i have waited the whole of my uni life (so far) for. and i am so afraid that my holidays would be spent in some sweaty stupor of tv, sleep and nothingness.

so if you have anything at all that is fun or meaningful to do, tell me!

like being a window cleaner for high rise buildings.

last day of school

2009-04-09T16:54:00.002+08:00

on the last day of this semester, i walked back all the way from wkwsci drinking bubble tea and listening to pearl jam. and i felt happy just to have this little pocket of time, and this irony all to myself. the irony that no one else can spot.

gosh, i really screwed up this semester.

Insomnia

2009-04-09T02:20:00.000+08:00

one of those songs that i am embarrassed to like. but i like.

2009-04-07T22:28:00.002+08:00

i don't know what to make of it, when this girl in one of my project groups saw my e-mail signature and had a very... strange reaction. she was flustered and pointing at it and didn't find any words to say.

this is my signature.

"--
For You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living."

and i wonder why i didnt even ask.

natural advantage

2009-04-05T20:38:00.003+08:00

in this matter we know as school, i have no clear natural advantage in any way at all.

unlike a privileged some, i never had the good fortune to pick up good learning habits in a top school nor did i grow up competing with the nation's best. i do not have the luxury of having a tutor to guide me in my studies, and i never did in my life.

i probably arrived a little later than some, having never really designed or written or picked up skills that can help me in my course right now. Things like photography, final cut or adobe. neither can i afford the best camera, laptop or whatever schiznit that can help, a lot.

what i do have, is this crazed obsession to make something out of my life that pops by every now and then, and a naive, little hope that it is never too late to start.

and you know what?

it was, but it never is.

stay back, keep clear

2009-04-01T11:19:00.002+08:00

erm, i typed a whole chunk of what one might say is controversial and politically charged shit.

then i remembered how i've been learning that i should probably not make too many decisions when i'm under stress.

so just do that.

stay back, keep clear. both you and i.

desire

2009-03-26T19:35:00.002+08:00

it's been a while since i ended the day wanting something, or somebody so bad.

you know the way you keep checking that little window to see if there is a change in status? yeah, something like that.

it is so absurd, but i just..........

2009-03-25T23:43:00.001+08:00

i am kind of praying against all rational hope that this isn't the end. such a small glimmer it was, but i'm sure it would have been more than a bushfire.

no, wait, i am not that sure. i don't even know much!

God, please don't let this be the end?

slimy gnome

2009-03-21T12:41:00.002+08:00

there is this sticky little gnome, his name is procrastination.

he comes by around once in a while, all too often, and just takes off with the time we all thought we had.

we had all the time in the world till he came. and he doesn't play fair. he returns for more, but never returns what he took.

he takes our time, and hide it in various places. like the little blue(and now, all too cluttered) book of faces. or a tube which claims to be about you. sometimes he just places it in the dark forest of blank daze, where upon entry one loses all sense of time.

go away you slimy gnome. stop stealing my time!

support group

2009-03-20T02:56:00.003+08:00

i find it very interesting, the "professional supporters" Benjy was telling us about at tutorial today.

a high level of organized crazed fanaticism over... something you don't necessarily enjoy? why?

feel

2009-03-19T00:31:00.004+08:00

today, i learnt that it takes a tremendous amount of effort and dedication to be good at something.

today, i learnt that it is worth it - to have that ability to bless someone with your art by bringing him/her to that place where one is allowed to feel.

it sucks

2009-03-13T00:14:00.001+08:00

ok, the article really did suck.

i don't know if i should be happy or sad about this. sad because it sucked, happy because at least i understand why it sucked and that means i actually stand a chance in improving on my writing.

2009-03-10T22:18:00.001+08:00

I feel like shit. I can't do anything without having this hanging around in a shadow at the back of my head.

God, please help me out.

to-do

2009-03-09T00:25:00.003+08:00

Interestingly, my to-do list has nicely cleared up since friday and i actually feel quite relaxed today.

Had time to spare to have an afternoon beer at Brewerkz with some of the church people.. ROCKS. Happy hour beer is $3.25 only.

So it's just one test this week, and the semester long assignments to do.

I hope i get to spend the time more on other pursuits. :)

And I am most likely getting a new phone this weekend! If anyone has Singtel Hello! vouchers you want to give/trade/sell to me, let me know.

Tell me if I'm wrong, but why would we change it?

Writing Frenzy

2009-03-05T23:10:00.002+08:00

This week was a frenzy of studying for Com202, and writing and writing and writing.

One piece was for the sports section of Chronicle, and one for Connexscions. Now I really hope they do not get spiked.

I have never felt so inadequate as a writer.

Looking back to when I was younger, it has always been writing that saved me. Though I had a pretty lousy attitude towards school, the stories i turned in for composition class always kept me in the teachers' good graces. In primary school, teachers unofficially granted me from doing corrections for writing assignments. While they chased my friends to spell "ultimate" properly and write it three times, I was usually just left on my own even when I don't turn in my assignments.

But here I am now, in Communication Studies, and I have no shit of an idea how I am supposed to write or what I am supposed to write.

The kind editors that I am writing for, Tiffany and Jian Yue, painstakingly guided me through the whole week while I tried to edit my article to get it saved. Quite an experience writing my first article, as I got to experience first hand how to gather quotes and information, and how important it is to find a good angle and dig deeper. I know only because I started without one.

As for Connexscions, it was quite a rushed piece. Misunderstood the scope that I was supposed to write for, and ended up combining two topics into one.

It was never this hard. (But I have never learnt this much.)

Aside from the practical lessons learnt, talked to favorite senior Chris for a while today as I got him to review my connexscions piece. He said he could tell that I was too concerned with trying to adhere to the things they teach us in school. Inverted pyramids, short sentences, etc.

And I knew right then that he was right. This was killing my writing.

As a communications student, I understand, and am trained to write with the purpose of communicating a message to an audience. I understand that a superfluous, artistic or overly abstract piece is unnecessary. I understand that things need to be in a logical flow to bring and keep the audience on a journey. I understand that a quick and grabbing lead is what determines whether the article would be read or not.

I understand all those, and that is what I should be applying in writing. Not inverted pyramid structures, seven word sentences or one sentence paragraphs. Those are tools, not guides.

I shouldn't be constrained with all these concerns. I should be communicating the message in a way that serves the audience best. I can be creative. I can make dramatic exclamations if that is what is needed for the message!!!

I can separate a sentence from a paragraph.

Or break away a short sentence.

To make a point.

The only rule is that the message goes from me to you in this medium.

That is my insight for the week. :)

The Queen

2009-03-04T23:40:00.001+08:00

Wouldn't you want her as your queen?

Queen Rania of Jordan, everybody.

The Fear

2009-03-03T20:46:00.002+08:00

Listened to the entire Lily Allen CD, "it's not me, it's you" this morning in school.

I rarely post non-live music videos, but here's one.

I think she's the kind of girl I'd fall madly in love with, but never be happy with. Because I'd love her and hate her so much at the same time. It's like bittersweet.

Nanyang Tech

2009-03-02T23:41:00.002+08:00

I'm sure most of you would have heard by now. If not,

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_344879.html
"A NANYANG Technological University professor was stabbed by his final-year project student, who later fell off a bridge linking two buildings on the Boon Lay campus on Monday morning."

If not for Marcus' suggestion to go to the H&SS library today, i would have passed by that place on the way back from canteen B at the exact time the incident happened.

It is such a tragedy, for the student and the professor. I wonder what will drive a person to such lunacy. (or desperation?) Is anything ever that important that will drive a person to even venture near the line of life and death?

And as a comms student, I guess today I learnt the value of not broadcasting everything you know. Information has the power to hurt or to heal. Think.

Someone today made a decision that he would have no chance to regret. He could have been next to you on the bus or been eating right across from you in the canteen. Where could you have been in his life?

Recess starts with R but is not a close relation of Rest.

2009-03-01T00:15:00.003+08:00

I am so exhausted.

It's saturday, one day before recess week is officially over. I will have to spend tomorrow at the ATC step up race, so tomorrow's pretty much gone too.

Other than a good amount of procrastinating, recess week has been traversing around the island, from home to school, school to home, mostly because of school commitments and assignments.

And before recess week ends, i still have one mid-term to study for and two articles to write.

The most important lesson i've learnt this recess week is that procrastination is not rest. Especially if you tend to worry, like me.

Other than that, I'd just like to add that it really irks me when people I tell people I've been busy, and they react with "other people not busy meh?"

I think they really mean to say that they themselves have been drowning in busy-ness too. There is really a more direct and less scathing way to say this. If you want to share your burden with me, i'm most willing to be a friend for you.

But if you want to be snide and imply in indirect ways that you have more to do than me, and you are really busy and you are superior and everyone should be treating you much better, well... i will readily concede and let you have that victory.

I don't want this prize, and quite frankly i don't see why you do.

Friday night with Clement and the guys at supper was quite something. Friday night at POTs was quite something too. I really need to live my faith.

Tonight was Irwin's party. In a way, I did enjoy this party quite a bit, despite the absence of excessive boozing. Maybe I am learning the art of sobriety.

Respect, humility, love.

lilies.

2009-02-16T00:39:00.002+08:00

The saddest thing in this is witnessing you go that way. To see you turn into what they have become. A beautiful canvas assailed by mud, like those before you. Don't you see?

Persu-ation.

2009-02-11T21:11:00.003+08:00

I am so addicted to John Mayer's Daughters right now, particularly that version from Where The Light Is. I swear the guitar riff in that intro plays itself in my head all the time.

This week, preparing for the mini set in SCI and for hall(which the organizers brought to fruition) made me feel seriously inadequate as a musician. Usually I would just find myself an excuse and say that I am not really an acoustic guitarist (for the SCI one) or a bassist (for the hall one) and so I wasn't really on my primary instrument. But no, this time I am not taking that way out.

At different points in life, one's attitude in the pursue of a craft might take on multiple facets. I guess right now, I'm where I see my role as a musician as one in which i am supposed to bring the people listening somewhere - in or beyond their souls. I don't think I have been able to do that in both those gigs.

Pass me an immaculately crafted guitar, the biggest amps in the world, or a rickety pair of clickers. I should be able to induce that sense of escape, or the reality that you seek. Your ears as my other window into your core. That is what I want to achieve as a musician.

icon-nut-bread!

2009-02-05T01:15:00.002+08:00

(in Filipino accent)

1 assignment, 1 quiz

1 FOC meeting, 1 Pumpfest meeting, 1 Pumpfest steamboat

And for the weekend,

2 Farewells, 1 Abseil Clinic, 2 Rehearsals, 1 Youth service

This is my try at being very quantitative.

Qualitatively, I'll just say it is kind of overwhelming, and I don't really feel confident about the quiz at the end of the week. But what is confidence when I am allowed to choose faith?

And sometimes when things pass so fast its all just a flurry, it's hard to be sure about anything at all.

Proverbs 3:5 FTW!!!

Dani Cali CNY

2009-01-25T23:52:00.001+08:00

Video for CNY, because flea is wearing red pants, and its the red hot chilli peppers?

honestly?

2009-01-24T22:12:00.003+08:00

honestly?

I feel incredibly lonely at times. I am grateful for my family, I am grateful for my friends but i fear that I can never hold them close enough.

and honestly?

I feel kind of out of place in school, like I am not really part of the entire thing. I feel like I can certainly be friendlier to people, and people might actually like me. Maybe I don't have to hide myself, maybe I don't impose.

and honestly?

I hate that I have to spend the entire night transcribing somebody's stupid interview. I hate the way they pushed it on us. I hate thinking like they think they have been oh-so-smart to push things on us like that, and we didn't even notice. I kind of want to quit.

and honestly?

Count the number of "I"s in the above post. Seems like I is of prominence in most of my negative posts.

2009-01-21T20:20:00.003+08:00

"I wave goodbye to Lise from the backseat of the bus. Just when i lose sight of her, her face starts to appear on the Polaroid picture. Now i can still see her after all."
- Erlend Loe, from Naive. Super, translated from Norwegian.

stomach flu

2009-01-20T15:36:00.002+08:00

today was a blur of waking up to collect key/setup booth for interhall climbing, puking in one of the north spine's toilet, puking in my hall toilet and sleeping in some kind of sweaty daze on my bed.

gosh, i hate getting the stomach flu.

Come to think of it, stomach flu is the thing that i fall ill most often from, and i have no idea why. Perhaps it is the irregular meal times, i have no idea.

and it really sucks to be ill away from home. no home-cooked porridge, towels or any general concern. i can't even find a pail to puke in to save me from running to the toilet everytime i need to puke because i'd have to wash the pail myself.

gosh, i really want to go home.

the economic crisis

2009-01-19T22:30:00.001+08:00

in today's straits times, the recruit section spanned no more than two broadsheet pages.

that scares me.

howie-day

2009-01-18T23:19:00.002+08:00

we may know howie day from collide, but here are two more songs from howie day that i found while surfing youtube and really like. take a listen!

After the last midtown show

2009-01-15T00:32:00.002+08:00

So enthralled by this song right now. Is it the drunken midnight on the streets, or the lazy neon nights? Or may it be the best day of our lives, right here?

It probably is the part where it is declared I will go for you with everything I've got.

stars glaze over

2009-01-05T19:09:00.002+08:00

so just 5 minutes ago, i ended a less dramatic struggle with the stars system and got my timetable for this semester confirmed.

and it begins to dawn on me that i have to spend the next 13 weeks here in boonlayland combating with texts, essays, readings and the zzz monster.

i will not be defeated, i will spare nothing in pillaging for whatever else that i deserve.

i will win.

mind trick

2009-01-02T18:51:00.001+08:00

ws intro-ed this song to me, and wow it's goooooooddddd.

music plays a mind trick, watch me forgeeeetttt about missing you.

the end of O8.

2008-12-31T20:19:00.004+08:00

While tonight is the night that many reflect deeply on the year that has passed, I am unable to come up with any good summary or reflection on the year past.

I cannot remember all the lessons life has taught me, but I do know that standing at the end of this year, I am in better stead to face the next.

I cannot remember all the difficulties I have overcome, but I know that I have not been defeated - I am still standing today.

I may not remember all the faces I've gotten to know, but I know that I have been blessed to have spent the year in a community of fantastic friends.

I have not found out exactly where life will take me, but I have had a year's worth of good journey.

I know that I am not done, but I am certain that God will not stop doing.

I'm ready for you, 2009. Here I come.

enthralled

2008-12-28T21:03:00.002+08:00

Perhaps I might concede that I am somewhat enthralled by you, but it will go no further than that.

Sorry - some of the apology to you but mostly for myself.

lack-of-reflections

2008-12-27T22:47:00.003+08:00

after 2 retreats this december, i've probably have had too much of reflections, but i'm not going to post any here.

i kind of want to see my results, and i kind of fear seeing it. one day away.

the holidays seem rather short. i want to run away to a desert island and play guitar with the best rock band, drink beer and laze around with beautiful people. too bad i don't have time to do it. desert island, guitar, rock band, beer and beautiful people will have to wait.

and maybe my new year resolution will be to save money and to get a new guitar. the two are kind of contradictory though. bummmmmmmmmmmmm.

balance

2008-12-06T00:04:00.002+08:00

some days i live like i'm trying to balance various forces of evil, trying to reach some nasty state of equilibrium.

i know there is a way out, the true way, a gift to live life free.

You.

2008-12-03T01:51:00.003+08:00

maybe it's not so much who-you-want-to-be but more who-you-are.

i am grateful for every single thing in my life.

every single thing.

and now i am 21. :)

koon

What I really want for my 21st/Christmas

2008-11-30T17:40:00.006+08:00

Ok, not like anyone loves me enough to get me these, but it's ok to fantasize right?

1. THIS Gibson Firebird

http://soft.com.sg/forum/guitar-buy-sell/88342-wts-wtt-gibson-usa-firebird-v-maple-flames-rare.html

2. A car cute like that

With road tax, insurance paid, free flow fuel and a cashcard please!

3. Marry me Mandy!

Or more specifically, Jamie Sullivan

hmmm.. Gwen Stefanie?

2008-11-27T00:36:00.002+08:00

Version 1 of Gwen Stefanie:

Version 2 of Gwen Stefanie:

Version 3 of Gwen Stefanie:

Not just in chronological order, but also in order of preference.

Somehow, I like the sweaty and unpolished performance the most. Effortless Gwen in the second video is sweet, I guess.

The third? She looks more like a S Club 7(or is it 8 or 9?) alumnus than the ex-frontwoman of No Doubt.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

advertorial

2008-11-24T23:00:00.003+08:00

Hi, putting up a word for my friend's business.

I'm sure most of us, at some point in time will need printing jobs done for school, work, church or any other area. The next time you do, I've got a solution for you.

http://www.jedsprint.com/
Cards, postcards, and anything you might need... do take a look at the website.

Probably the best you can turn to. A friend is always better than a want-to-tip-all-your-cash-bloodhounds when you need to get things printed huh?

The business owner is a friend of mine, from the boys' brigade a long long time ago. Started a business, and he's my age.

Please give your greatest support!

not lucky

2008-11-19T21:31:00.002+08:00

Clearly, you are not the luckiest man around when twice in the same day, it starts to pour just as about you are about to step out of shelter.

Like one step before.

On the other hand, you can lament about worst luck if you already were fifteen steps out or something.

Always look on the bright side of life.

Your Words

2008-11-17T14:47:00.002+08:00

wasn't it your words, not mine?

cause you and i both loved,
what you and i spoke of,
and others just read of...

and if you could see me now,
i'm almost finally out of...

words.

but am i free?

great realization

2008-11-08T16:22:00.003+08:00

in life, there are these moments of great realization.

and the times in between? we mostly live stupidly.

just some random thoughts in the midst of preparing for exams:

1. The two biggest names in computers aren't logical. One is "small and fluffy" in different words, and the other, a fruit.

2. Religion is a sorry method to put structure into relationship. Perhaps a thousand-year-old proof that relationships cannot survive on love alone. Or love is sadly always manipulated for purposes. Either ways, a crying shame.

3. We are always looking for answers, why?

spidey

2008-10-29T20:20:00.003+08:00

it's quite amazing how unproductive i can be.

spent the whole day in hall trying to study, and didn't get much done in the way of studying. Instead, cleaned the room a bit, got ableton and gearbox up and running on my mac. Perhaps, the most rewarding thing is discovering "light brown" on gearbox. love that tone!

and now, i have a pet spider hanging 'round in an overturned plastic cup on my table. i shall name it spidey, and i don't quite know what to do with it. I don't really fancy catching insects to feed it, but i'm pretty sure it doesn't eat leaves or bread crumbs or mentos.

maybe the only reason to pair up is because two is stronger than one. there are relationships which you have to feed, and there are those that makes both of you bigger than being two separates. A balance is certainly most appropriate, but i guess we do see more of the former than the latter.

so there, i'm about 2 weeks from exams, feeling somewhat a tad too relaxed(maybe because i have actually done a fair bit of studying during the school term instead of only starting to look for my textbooks/notes at this point in time.)

I can't wait for the holidays, when i can start doing all the things i've been waiting to do!

1. Catch up with friends who don't stay in boon lay.
2. Record 3 songs.
3. Earn some $$$ to get that new guitar, clothes or whatever else i need.
4. Eat good food.
5. Buy some more CDs.
6. Go to Timbre, or anywhere else with live music.
7. Get fit again.
8. Day trip to m'sia for mary brown, A & W, and secret recipe!!
9. Turn 21.

and probably sleep too.

just one of those days...

2008-10-25T00:01:00.003+08:00

just one of those days that i feel crummy and feel like i screwed up every aspect of my life.

I know we all live through this, but don't we all keep coming back to this?

so what's the point.

told you i can't write.

prayer changes things?

2008-10-24T00:04:00.002+08:00

this week, the image that stuck to me the most was a piece of sticker stuck on the back of someone's laptop.

i can't remember whose it was exactly, but it said "prayer changes things"

i was praying for change.

busy busy busy

2008-10-16T01:02:00.002+08:00

the quizzes, assignments & presentation are driving me nuts!

The intensity itself is only half as bad, the other half lies in the fact that it does not end with the week.

Somebody tell me that you are an university student with a life.

can. not. create.

2008-10-01T20:01:00.002+08:00

I've lost the ability to write. Earlier on in my education, writing came almost naturally to me. Compositions and essays just kind of... flowed.

Now I can hardly read my own essays for university without itching to tear it all apart. I can't stand what I write. If not for a lack of time, these are works that I would never let the world see.

And more troubling is the fact that I've not written songs in quite a while too. Not that I can come up with great songs, but for the fact that writing songs used to be such a release for me. Though nobody else hears them, putting down feelings, moments, thoughts into a neat little musical package was such a rush for me.

I can not create anymore.

On another note, I'm thinking about what it means to sing Hallelujah, what it means to praise God?

If we believe in God to such an extent that we sing songs and utter prayers to praise Him - and still think we are sane, shouldn't the extent we trust in His ability and promise to hold our lives in His hands be far greater than what it is now?

what do i want?

2008-09-17T17:50:00.003+08:00

you know, a few weeks ago, someone asked me if i knew what i wanted in life.

i've been thinking about it before the question was posed, and i'm thinking about it now.

it's not a bad topic to think about, since the authority in this question happens to be myself.

and i suppose it wouldn't be unfair to say that i can't be wrong then.

the real problem then, lies in the fact that i am no closer to the answer than i was when i first started thinking.

we all have hopes, ambitions, dreams. many of us probably grew up wanting to be something, and you probably are already making your first steps towards it. you might want to develop a certain character trait, to be loving for example. or to be like someone, or to be in a certain career or position.

i wonder how it must feel to have an end to work towards.

for people like you, life might be a little less complicated. you know what you want, and building what you need would be like laying bricks together. put a bit of ambition here, a good degree there, some wild exotic classes here and glue it all together with the love of a beautiful spouse. i'm not saying that your bricks are any less heavy, but i do envy the fact that you know what you want.

all i have are shambles from the debris i have collected in the past. shards here and there put together to build a pretend house. pretending to be just like everyone else, fearful to knock down my silly little structure, afraid because that is all i have.

God, won't you show me how things work around here?

friday

2008-09-12T10:51:00.002+08:00

well, so here we are it's friday again!

this week was better than the last, no tests, no assignments due.

and i found out janie's got a gun!

and judging by the harbinger of scarlet stasis, i concede that i should obey. whether green motion follows depends on amber and crimson changes.

what'll keep you going?

2008-09-04T19:53:00.002+08:00

wow, i have not been in here for a while.

it's been a crazily hectic week.. the whole of last weekend was taken up by my basic media writing assignment(which i suspect i might not do too well in) and had a term paper on thurs. just a presentation tomorrow and that marks the end of my crazy week.

all in all, uni has been pretty good. i pretty much like the subjects i'm doing, though i'd definitely be happier with more friends. hall's ok too, as much i hate to admit it, i miss being home sometimes.

my mind hasn't been working for quite a while and i do feel quite inadequate in terms of mental finesse. but the best thing, standing at this point of my education is knowing that avenues are opening up before me, and the stressful part is avenues takes effort to walk up.

amidst all the busy-ness, trying to get educated, trying to make friends, i am really trying to find God. God of every season, God of every emotion, God of all situations, honestly there are times i look at You and wonder if i am missing the point.

and there are times i catch myself thinking you are beautiful, and then i try to negate it. will i only be contented and accepting when you are as flawed as i am?

2008-08-16T21:29:00.002+08:00

isn't it strange, how we are all living in the same world, yet there can be so many different ways we live? some people live like they will never die, some live like they can prevent death, and some live like they are already dead.

we all get to the same end, how are you getting there?

Life and how to survive it

2008-08-11T17:43:00.002+08:00

A prof posted this on my school's learning website(my most visited site since school started!) and i thought i would post this.

Follow the link to a wonderful read. This is the convocation speech for wkwsci's recently graduated. It is by no means boring or formal, but insightful, and I guarantee you that he will take you away by the fourth paragraph or so.

Take time, follow the link!

http://mrwangsaysso.blogspot.com/2008/08/life-and-how-to-survive-it.html

the moffatts

2008-08-10T00:22:00.002+08:00

my ipod shuffled its way to this song a while ago, and i decided to youtube it. surprisingly, the moffatts are quite different from what i thought them to be. i always thought the moffatts singer to be a boy. naaaah. of course i meant that i thought they were a boyband kind of thing.

misery

another one for the fun of it. i wonder what happened to them after they grew up.

miss you like crazy

another teen idol. now, i really though Gil was a real grown man. also, the gender confusion thing is getting a tad scary.

and one that did grow up... mmmbop!

young hanson

older(and better) hanson

and a hilarious excerpt from wiki.

Another Family Guy episode - "A Fish Out of Water" - features the following dialogue in which it turns out Glenn Quagmire thought Taylor Hanson was a girl.

Peter Griffin: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Glenn Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
Glenn Quagmire: (laughs) You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."
Peter Griffin: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
Glenn Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible. ... Oh god. Oh my god! I've got all these magazines! Oh god!

2008-08-06T14:33:00.002+08:00

it feels strange to not see you and communication feels like its going to be only one way.

in a world of bytes, mouse and keyboards, may your clicks and keystrokes bring you here to see this question.

how are you doing?

purple suits

2008-07-31T12:05:00.002+08:00

The Dark Knight was good, and it stands as one of my favourite movies, along with fight club, about a boy, as good as it gets, and some i can't remember.

trailer

here's a funny parody of the interview scene.

and a song i'm thinking of, partly cause of the joker, partly because i just want to post it.

How can I help ya
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on my brink
Why don't you like me
Why don't you like me
Why don't you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on your shelf?

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?

Ancient Skies

2008-07-20T18:32:00.002+08:00

heard this at hillsong conference, and i keep going on to youtube to listen to this though the video's kind of crappy. i don't even make full sense of this song, but i'm somehow captivated by it.

edge of a ravine

2008-07-19T22:26:00.002+08:00

feels like i'm standing at the edge of a ravine, all ready to tumble into a place where i've been before.

while the depth and the darkness of the ravine scares me, it is not the scariest part. what scares me most is the things that i perceive to be able to save me are grossly warped.

like holding on to a fast breaking root at the edge of a cliff, i dare not let go to try to grab hold of another, for it seems like beyond this faltering hope, i have nothing.

i can only pray that you set me on your solid rock.

Jill McCloghry

2008-07-15T10:55:00.002+08:00

At Hillsong Conference, there was this woman with a really nice voice, and coming home to watch the "this is our God" DVD, found this testimony from her.

Lots of other stories as well, should check out Mike G's but I shall post that some other time(if requested) since most people would have known that one already.

Never been a huge Hillsong fan before this, but from this conference, I've really gained respect for them. Not just because they are the biggest name in christian music today, or because they are probably the mega-est mega church in the world, but for their heart.

That's all for now. Will post more, photos probably will be on facebook.

Loving all of you.

where the light is

2008-07-02T20:08:00.002+08:00

can someone bring me where the light is?

john mayer - no such thing where the light is

john mayer - daughters at where the light is

2008-07-01T21:03:00.002+08:00

i have been pretty happy recently.

what a waste

2008-06-23T20:27:00.001+08:00

that was a nice guitar...

awesome

2008-06-16T21:12:00.002+08:00

awesome because You were there.

awesome because we sought, You answered.

awesome because this is just the start.

smoking ban economics

2008-05-31T00:23:00.001+08:00

hmmmm. the smoking ban might actually rake in more for the pubs in the long run.

when people are not killing their lungs at the same time, they are probably willing to spend more money wrecking their liver.

on top of that, pubs are a much more comfortable place to be in now.

musical genius

2008-05-27T22:48:00.002+08:00

it is probably no secret that Joe Satriani is recognized as a musical genius. And while guitarists often dispute about who's good and who's not Satch is probably one of those few who are recognized as being an undisputably good guitarist.

i know nobody will want to watch a 10 minute video, especially a song with no lyrics, but watch this, and you'll see the creation of a genius.

however, just scroll to 05:54, you will find out why he doesn't bother with singing - there are way cooler things he can do with his mouth.

questions at work

2008-05-23T15:11:00.002+08:00

I am currently at work and perplexed by the most confounding questions an errant mind can come up with.

1. Are oil prices supposed to be so damn high? If the market is supposed to price products to how much a consumer values it, isn't it such a strange thing that we'd pay so much for a product that we destroy in its usage? If the value of oil were to be measured by the energy it produces, then how come the price for other forms of energy, human-produced energy, i.e. labour isn't rising as proportionately.

2. Is it fair for the general populace to bear the burden of a higher cost of living for commodity speculators to grow richer?

3. What a mystery it is, that the human mind and its sensories can be tricked out to go places. A plane can take you to Mexico, so can vibrations transposed on to your ear drums by moving air and changing patterns of light before your eye. Or a huge dose of narcotical intake.

4. The meek shall inherit the earth. What is meekness? I read somewhere it is restrained strength, and while I am not really an admirer of artforms like tai chi or yoga, I am somehow attracted to this notion of meekness.

5. I'd really like to challenge the notion that you have to be rich and successful or to have a beautiful wife to be successful to have a fulfilling life. While I am nowhere rich, successful or married to a beautiful woman, I have seen people who'd be judged as poor, failure-d and bounded to people who are not as abled lead very fulfilling life, and to be truth, I am very envious.

6. How can I have time to blog while people are paying me to work? Do they really think I'm working, orexpect me to be working when everyone is half a building away attending "training", probably wondering about the same questions as I am.

7. What time can i go home?

chances

2008-05-18T15:18:00.003+08:00

i don't know if it's age or whatever, but i find myself desiring to spend more and more time alone at home or doing nothing.

that said, it's been a pretty rip-roaring ride these few weeks. was in so much of a doldrums and then had my spirits lifted again. while i've been bitter and faithless in the bad times, my God has been gracious enough to still turn around and bless me, despite me being the lousy thing i am.

and i'm really grateful for friends along the way. walter, jx and mark for being there that night when i was just a big sore spot(one of those rare occasions, i hope), and also steven for going out of his way so much to bless me.

well, anyway here's a song about not giving up, about 8th chances and 9th chances, and probably chances into the double digits.

invincible

2008-05-12T20:06:00.001+08:00

Follow through
Make your dreams come true
Don't give up the fight
You will be alright
Cause there's no one like you in the universe

Don't be afraid
What your mind consumes
You should make a stand
Stand up for what you believe
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible

During the struggle
They will pull us down
But please, please
Lets use this chance
To turn things around
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible

Do it on your own
It makes no difference to me
What you leave behind
What you choose to be
And whatever they say
Your souls unbreakable

During the struggle
They will pull us down
But please, please
Let use this chance
To turn things around
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible

Together we're invincible

Matchbox 20 - Rest Stop

2008-05-03T23:22:00.001+08:00

even if goodbye has been said many times before.

2008-04-26T23:27:00.004+08:00

As much as i hate to admit it, I have to face up to the fact that I've invested too much time and effort in the wrong thing.

Some people are receptive and grateful for help or concern given, while some just think themselves too good for it. They'll show the whole world they're hurting only to snarl at those who offer them help.

What is the point of showing your hurt then, if you just want to be left alone? Why only desire the care of those who aren't near? Why leave doors open to those who hurt you and slam the door shut in the face of those who care? So many questions why left to be unanswered.

And yes, that is what I should do. Step back and realize all these has never been any of business at all. While what has been taken away from my life can never be replaced, I have the power to stop it from taking any more.

So goodbye, even if goodbye has been said many times before.

chinese music

2008-04-12T09:41:00.003+08:00

i've been strangely obsessed with chinese music these few days.

just a note, look at how much the chinese/hokkien rock band has changed from their early days.

Mayday long ago.

Mayday in 2007(with Chen Qi Zhen who i think looks and sounds really cute, very unique voice!)

and the pretty Chen Qi Zhen live in concert! the female bassist(who is bald) is pretty good i say.

ok, all the chinese music i have is like 5 years old. please send me chinese music if you know of any nice ones!

cycling

2008-04-05T23:29:00.002+08:00

There used to be a father who would bring his son cycling every evening. The son started with a little tricycle, and in a matter of months got a bicycle with a pair of training wheels. First, he started with two training wheels then the father removed the training wheel on the left, and then the one on the right when the boy was ready to progress.

Each time, from the tricycle to the two-wheeled bicycle, the father would be running alongside the boy, encouraging him, teaching him, correcting him and to catch him if he falls.

This went on and on as the boy got more comfortable on the bicycle, gaining both the skills and confidence needed for him to cycle independently. This boy got better and better, and when he didn't need his father by his side to teach him and catch him anymore, he started to disregard his father running by his side. He cycled faster, went further, reveling in what he could now do on his own. As for the man, he was happy to see his son being able to now cycle on his own. Though no one knew whether there was a tinge of sadness in him when his son started to cycle with seeming disregard for the old man running by his side, it was obvious that he took great joy in seeing what his son could do.

And one day, the old man wasn't running by the side of the now speeding bicycle anymore. It wasn't because he could not catch up with the bicycle anymore, but because he now knew his son didn't need him running by his side anymore. If he did not believe his son would be able to cope, believe me, he'd run to the death of him to be there to catch him when he falls.

Inevitably, the son will fall. And what happens?

now, now what is the point?

2008-04-03T22:05:00.004+08:00

some people would rather live life with something to gripe about than to admit to being contented with his/her own life and have nothing to say.

they believe that the next thing in life coming will make them happy, or believe what they're just going through now is just a phase, and "all these will pass." never are they happy with what right now has to offer.

now, now what is the point?

i am virus

2008-03-13T18:50:00.002+08:00

i've somehow managed to get a virus on my msn account. a virus that can mysteriously sign me in even when i'm not at home, and even change my facebook account password. damn. please be careful with me. don't contract the virus too.

on another note, i saw this really beautiful girl on the bus just yesterday. it didn't help that she was seating right in front of me. it didn't help that she kept looking back. and of course it didn't help that she was with her boyfriend. but you know what was the most disturbing? her boyfriend's apparent nonchalance towards her. gosh, if i had such a beautiful girlfriend, she might just break up with me because i keep staring at her. gosh, whats the point. blah blah blah.

working on jurong island now. finally down to doing some real work after a month of slacking and doing random work for kenneth and doing camps. it's not quite as fun, but at least i can live under the pretense that life is supposed to be this way. what a fine way to pass possibly the longest vacation i had and will ever have in my life. great.

quote, unquote

2008-03-01T23:34:00.002+08:00

"He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong."

- Danny Vinyard, American History X

oh yes, 200th!

songs on the radio

2008-02-20T17:11:00.002+08:00

here are 2 songs that caught my ear while i was listening to class 95 yesterday. blogging it here so that i don't have to look through youtube to hear them. enjoy!

Melee - Built to Last

One Republic - Stop and Stare

chest pain

2008-02-19T14:02:00.000+08:00

wahhhh. painful chest. stupid duffel bag.